Filed under: new experience
I can’t seem to recall what happened a few days ago. My memory is not doing too well.
Anyway, I might be signing up for dance lessons. Which may end up making me dance something like this:
Or like this:
lol!
I figured it is going to be a fun thing to do.
I know that I’ve got something more important to say, but I just cant seem to remember what is it…
Filed under: new experience
I pranced gracefully in a state of induced euphoria. The world seemed lighter and time moved slower. Laughter dominated sadness.
There was relaxation.
There was nonchalance in the air.
To be part of a dream in reality was a wonderful experience.
There is nothing distinct about this chatter amidst the white noise in the classroom, but by an unrecognizable urge I pulled my head up which was slumped on the table for a long time and looked back. What comes after that is a series of artificially flavoured fruit drinks and a whole lot of driving.
Parts of individuals become a part of each other throughout our lives. Our paths crosses intersections, converges with others for a period of time and sometimes- indefinitely.
I have yet to know if my path will cross someone else’s indefinitely, but it is refreshing to feel that my road would also be traveled by a significant amount of people.
Some will leave me a trail of sadness, some will bring momentary happiness, while few will walk with me together in this path that I call Life.
It is when the trail of sadness or happiness starts to swerve to a different direction to that of which I intended to go to that I feel a sudden emptiness. It feels like it doesn’t matter that sadness exited, because it means that I am traveling with one short.
My road is then less taken.
We go about seeing what we want to see.
What I see is a cycle that is meaningless. We are too self absorbed in going about our daily lives that we do not seek meaning in the things we do. Time flies by and we grow older. Have we tried stopping to reflect on ourselves the significance of our lives?
What I see is a society that is filled with hate and self fulfillment. A society that does not care about anything but itself. A society of not giving but taking. A society that has the bad overriding the good.
Apparently the way I see things is as unrealistic as how people with a positive outlook sees the world.
The only difference is negativity is a sign of depression and positivity is a sign of happiness.
Filed under: And Socrates laughed in his grave
Morality.
What justifies right and wrong?
The rule of law compels individuals and society at large to behave in a certain way. The rule of law sets the boundaries of our actions.
What happens when there is no law?
I have been refusing to accept that we live in a rotten society. There is no true morality. People do not base their actions on what they think is right.
Rape, war, greed. Humanity has no room for others but me,me and me.
Are we truly moral individuals? Have we been in situations where there is only a blur distinction between right and wrong? Are our actions truly our choice or is it contingent to our surroundings?
If there is no law, would principles prevail?
I have no faith in humanity.
Filed under: And Socrates laughed in his grave
The grogginess of early mornings seem to overwhelm me as I sip on some coffee and flip through the morning papers. A writer with weekly articles about women, love and society never seemed to catch my attention- except for this time.
She wrote about how a woman took control of her sex life by hiring men.
I read with great interest about how a friend of the writer, a working professional, goes about hiring men she meets from high end cafes and other places of similar prestige.
Morality or the issue of sex is not the question here, but rather the shift from conformity to independence.
Women are blurring the gender line. Women are toppling the masculine hegemony. Women are taking control of their lives by breaking glass ceilings, having an equal opportunity in education, not conforming to social expectations set by men.
I admire these women. They set the precedence of what a society should view women as- successful and independent.
Though this shift is taking place with a minority of women taking charge of their own success, many are lagging behind. Many are trapped in a mindset of dependency. Many are afraid to make a change for themselves. Many are afraid to speak up and stand out. Many of us, males and females alike, remain highly gendered in our ways.
I am still waiting for the day when the word independent is synonymous to feminity.
Perhaps I am an idealist.
Ignore the swollen eyes. I lack sleep.
Today was my first day of actual internship. I’ll be spending the next 1 1/2 months at Agathians Shelter, which houses 30 children + teenagers ranging from 4 – 17 years of age. My job along with 3 other interns and 6 imaginary ones (we were told that there were 10 of us, but only 4 of us showed up) is to come up with activities for the children to understand them better. We would be entering data of the children’s responses for future reference.
Our first activity would be done tomorrow, and it has been done in a way so that we are able to know their names better. I spent my morning drawing crossword puzzles for them… and they kept coming back for more /D:.
The secret for them to stop bothering you longer is to draw crossword puzzles with a lot of words in them /ha.
There were times when I had to split my attention between writing letters onto blocks I’ve drawn for them, answering what’s my favourite colour and giving them words to spell. Having several children flock towards you at the same time is certainly something I have not experienced before.
The rest of the day was spent practicing guitar, chatting and watching the debate between DSAI and frog face.
Am currently too tired to learn how to use Facebook and type this post at the same time. Goodnight people of the net.
Filed under: narcissism
Things have been relatively easier for the past couple of days. It’s easier to let go when you know that whatever that has been done was just meaningless. At least now I know that self sacrifice is the gift least appreciated. This has been the only experience I’ve had so far that wouldn’t be considered as something significant in my life.
Anyway,
I suppose people would like to read non-important details about myself other than posts about me wallowing in self pity. So here goes:
Recently/today (in non-chronological order):
1. Purchased a new acoustic guitar, at a price of RM 650 over my budget.
2. Saw Badawi’s car + entourage pass by me on the NPE (PM don’t pay no toll yo).
3. Started working in Agathians Shelter (and will be for the entire duration of the term break).
4. Dug up old pieces to play on the acoustic.
5. Started using my fingers again instead of the pick.
6. Called up a lot of people to talk.
7. Bummed around and ate too much fast food.
8. Cigars.
9. Got a hair cut.
In the future:
1. Go to Penang for a holiday.
2. Fix the delay problem on Guitar Hero 3 PC.
3. Play some songs that looks complicated to make people think that I’m actually good at guitar.
4. Learn the art of not giving a shit.
